You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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