Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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