am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
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