maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
