My room smells like vodka and shame
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
