So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
