a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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