I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I could fuck to npr.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
