Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize