i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
