This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
