before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well I just put wine in my tea
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
