who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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