Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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