I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
