I skipped work to stalk him.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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