meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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