dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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