did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
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She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My boob is missing a layer of skin
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Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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