i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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