When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oh god it's open bar.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
