I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im holly from the hills drunk
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
