literally had 100 drinks last night.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
