Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
