I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
