Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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