no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You took a bar mat shot.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
