You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
