so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
