I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Houston, we have a squirter
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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