Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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