So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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