Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
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TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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