Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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