Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
