she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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