Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize