I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
