Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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