First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
