Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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