ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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