with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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