dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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