cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
