problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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