Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't deserve a penis
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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