i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
