worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do vagina's smell?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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