omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
