I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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