That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
