You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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