He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
