you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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