i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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